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News and views from the German-language region of Europe

November 10, 2008

Conflict of Interest?

Filed under Council of Elders

A former Ambassador College classmate wonders about my selection to the Council of Elders.

Keith Speaks, who hails from Hammond, Indiana and grew up rooting for a baseball team in the wrong – as in "other" – major league, wrote a tongue-in-cheek letter to The Journal about some undue influence on UCG’s Council of Elders.

I am compelled to write to your worldwide audience while seated here at my desk at 675 feet above sea level to share this clarion call to warn you of a plot unfolding in the United Church of God.

It has come to my attention that three longtime colleagues of mine, Darris McNeely, Robin Webber and Paul V. Kieffer, have been elected to the UCG bored of elderlies, joining yet another ex-classmate of mine, Aaron Dean.

This dramatic turn of events calls out for my end-time warning with respect to the character and background of these fellows.

Has it come to the attention of the electoral college of the UCG that all of these men are devoted National League followers?

Mr. Kieffer and Mr. McNeely are followers of the St. Louis Cardinals. Isn’t the conflict apparent? Saint Louis, an obviously Catholic reference and, even worse, Cardinals?

Most people ignore the significance of "Louis," which is also pronounced Louie and is therefore linked to the infamous 1963 semirisque song "Louie Louie" by the Kingsmen.

And Dean and Webber. Come on. They are Los Angeles Dodgers fans, already.

Los Angeles: named after the great angelic host. And Dodgers: obviously a reference to aversion to walking the straight and narrow.

Another little-known fact is that the numbers associated with the spelling of Brooklyn, from whence the Dodgers moved 50 years ago, in the ancient Arawak tongue add up to 666.

It pains me to think that these glaring character flaws were not pointed out during the process of electing these gentlemen to their positions. Please accept my condolences to all concerned.

Apart from these negative prophetical linkages, for which I forgive them, they all are excellent parents, students, friends, sportsmen and neighbors to all they have touched in their 56 or 57 years of earthly existence.

Keith D. Speaks
Whitesoxville, Ind.

I had to chuckle when reading that. Not bad, Keith. Like the Sox game we saw in 1979 when Claudell Washington hit three home runs, one of three times in my life that I visited a minor league park. :-)

Paul Kieffer's blog with personal insights and news from the German-language region in Europe.


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